Here's my answer to question 2 from the below inquiry:

Wannabe hipsters. Peeling through the layers of hipster motivation tends to debunk the feasible possibility of such a thing as a 'wannabe hipster.' Where I'm from, there's a road called Tablemesa, which in Spanish means 'table table.' I think of that road when I hear the term 'wannabe hipster' because it's exactly the same thing, it's a mental echo. What I mean is that hipsters are, in and of themselves, wannabes already. Their completion is a state of inauthenticity; they are forever the pet dog who will not stay off the living room couch because he is truly convinced that he is human. They want to be authentic, boy oh boy, how they want it! They want to be clever, they want to be fashionable, they want to be cutting edge, they want to be urbane, they want to be artists, writers, poets, playwrights, starlets, barflies, wiseguys, dandies, teddies, mods, bikers, truckers, soldiers, scholars, rockstars, they want to be other people, they want to be everything, which is, if not admirable, at least hopeful. The problem comes because hipsters want it all RIGHT NOW. And they don't want to do anything to get it. They just want to buy the used clothes, move into the 'up-and-coming' neighborhood, talk the talk and walk the walk. When you finally realize that your dog will not stay off the couch because he thinks he's human, you place a mirror in front of him and what does he do? There's no great realization, he doesn't look into the mirror and say 'My God! I'm a dog! What the hell?' No: He barks. He barks and barks and barks because he still doesn't realize that he's a dog. And hipsters are like that; they are tragic cases of wannabe precisely because they don't understand that they can't just BE whatever they choose IMMEDIATELY. There's no humility with hipsters; there's no self-reflection. And, finally, there's no struggle. And this makes them even worse than simple wannabes, it makes them wannabehaveitalls. See, we all start out as wannabes, why would we come to New York City if we didn't want to be something? Why would we get out of bed in the morning if we didn't want to grow and learn? But the thing that really makes hipsters so fucking annoying is that they don't have to struggle for anything, but they seem to pretend that they are struggling, they pretend that they know what it's like to struggle. They WANT to struggle, in fact, but not really at all because when you've had to struggle for something you know that anybody who says they want to struggle has never actually had to struggle.

I have occasionally seen the kind of person who would try to morph into hipsterdom, but for some reason cannot manage to do it, either because they were with a hipster crowd that was generally better-looking, or wealthier, or just plain dismissive. These pimply, four-eyed, too tall, too short too fat, big-nosed, big-eared, slack-jaw dorks are, I suppose, the closest thing you might find to a 'wannabe hipster.' And yes, hipsters do concoct elaborate schemes to avoid these people, I have no doubt about that. But these people usually end up realizing that they are simply too talented to hang on the coattails of a hipster clan, and that the reason they couldn't 'fit in' was because they were no good at pretending: They were not one of life's actors. And these people usually find their own truth based on observable, everyday fact rather then the dictates of 'hip,' and the dusty remnants of some glamorous nostalgia. And if any hipster had asked me to go pick up some pommade or a stylish belt for them, I'd have punched them square in the goddamed mouth.