With the fucking freezing weather and the holiday season upon us and the steam heat hissing all night long, my charity bone has lately wiggled its way out of the perpetually frozen yolk of my soul, and I suddenly feel the urge to do something that could help somebody instead of just bitching about stuff all the time. So, I heard on the radio this morning about Operation Santa and I thought I should satiate the biting guilt that threatens to spoil my cantankerous mood by spreading the guilt to all of you. The New York Post Office gets tons of letters every year from poor, deluded children who actually believe Santa Claus exists and that he will answer their pleading letters and buy them presents. And in order to help perpetuate this fantasy the Post Office asks volunteers to pretend they're Santa and respond to the letters. I don’t know the details, i.e. if you must buy the kid a gift, but golly, you get to pretend you're Santa! And what a great catharsis for kids like me who were emotionally crushed beyond repair to find out that Santa wasn't real. As my mother always says: "It's the least you can do, you self-absorbed little bitch!"

Also, I've decided to launch a 'questions answered' section for all the sick fuckers out there who want to push my buttons. So go ahead and ask, you slimy bastards.