My Dear Wormwood,
Apparently it's difficult for some readers to understand, but the New York City Anti-Hipster Forum does not promote hatred or extremism of any kind, least of all hatred toward hipsters, if you can swallow that. By and large, my readers seem to grasp the infinite subtlety in life, the volumes of half-truths and contradictions that we cannot avoid in our everyday lives, much less in our written lives. So you, my common-sensical readers, understand that for instance, I might have a site called the anti-hipster forum, but that does not mean that I actually want to harm hipsters in any way. The true reason I started the Forum was because I think humor is the only savior. And yes, because I think hipsters are extremely annoying too. And come to think of it, I started the Forum because I think hipsters represent something much greater than just stupid ugly mesh-trucker caps and ridiculous belt buckle-irony: They represent a profound absence of common sense, and that is exactly what I despise. But before I get to the point at hand I will also add that certain moral quandaries have been lately lobbed at me from concerned and some not-so-concerned readers about the sticky good will of the content contained here. Sure, I might have good intentions, they say, and sometimes I might even make somebody laugh a little, but by God, laughing at somebody else's expense is no better than pushing an old woman down a flight of stairs. Haven't you ever read the Screwtape Letters? Is every Anti-Hipster word I write as good as another brimstone down the staircase to hell? Is every reader's snorting snicker another step in the devil's waltz?

Give me a fucking break!

What am I a fucking Mormon? Hell no, I don't believe this tripe either, and it's not as though I just shrug it off and forget about, I really do think about these things. And here's what I came up with: The only people who will find this Forum funny; the only people who can possibly understand the jokes or even understand what a 'hipster' is, are hipsters! They're laughing at themselves! And I'm sure God is smiling down on us too! Ahh, you must know what it feels like to be surrounded by idiots. One the one side I've got a person calling him/herself an Anti-Hipster 'follower' like this is some kind of fucking cult, and on the other side I've got some crazy moral crusader who's worried about saving my mortal soul. Lighten up! Or am I the one who needs to lighten up? This is the email that kind of freaked me out, flattery notwithstanding:

Dear Aimee,
First, I just want to say that I love your work. Your writing is dynamic and interesting, and you have new ideas and original ways of conveying your ideas, which is always refreshing. I came upon the Anti-Hipster forum by chance a couple of weeks ago, and it's become on of my favorite websites.
So now down to business: Though your website has been thoroughly entertaining for me, it has also, indirectly, totally bummed me out. Let me explain. I'm a recent college grad and I've decided to move out of California, where i've been for 22 years, to NYC. I've been wanting to live in ny for 3 years (i lived there one summer in 1999) but things have always impeded it. So now, i finally have my one-way ticket and i'm out of this degenerate state for good-- this month. My dilemma: Mover's Remorse (like Buyer's Remorse or cold feet before a wedding, i imagine). The Reason: Vice Magazine. I swear to god, i was all set to go until I read some articles in this mag and viewed the 'dos and don'ts' articles. Now I feel like i'm moving to the dullest, most superficial, stuck-up place on the planet. Furthermore, I'm moving to Greenpoint temporarily-- before I move to Manhattan. I'm an artist but certainly not a hipster--that is, if vice magazine represents the typical nyc hipster. How silly is it that this dumb piece of shit publication bothers me? It's just that, honestly, if i sat in my room for an hour each morning and religiously contemplated which of my eight camo tees would look best with my delicately 'stressed' denim skirt and homemade synthetic-mohair purse, I think I'd kill myself.
I have a theory that if Vice did not exist, there would would be less hipsters in new york and the city would be a better place over all. So, if you, and all of your followers (I being one of them) truly hate hipsters, maybe you should go head on and attack at them at their source. After all, hipsters obviously spew out regurgitated bullshit, they do not possess ideas of their own (this seen in their fashion). Without a source telling them what to think, drink, and wear, hipsters are lost.
This magazine is a breeding ground for hipsters. Let's destroy it, and others like it.
C

Here's my reply to C: Powerful writing, but I hope you're joking. Also, sorry I called you an idiot. I didn't mean it, really.