As you'll no doubt notice, I have decided to rid myself and all of my sane readers of the commenting option on the Forum. The other day I was discussing this move with a friend and she brought up an excellent point. The exchange went something like this:

Her: "So, I think you should just get rid of the comment option."
Me: "Why?"
Her: "Because when it comes right down to it, at least lately, most people who leave comments are nutcases and assholes anyway. It seems to be losing its value as a tool for interaction."
Me: "Maybe. But some really nice and genuinely interested readers leave them too."
Her: "Yeah but those people will write you if they have something to say, they aren't exhibitionists who need attention."
Me: "Yeah, I've thought about it before, but I like it. I mean, I like the interaction of it; I like hearing what people have to say. It kinda livens thing up a little, ya know?"
Her: "I guess. I still think you should get rid of it."
Me: "But I think a lot of people only visit the Forum to read the comments. If I get rid of it then my traffic will go down."
Her: "So what? The majority of people don't even leave comments, they just read. Those are the normal, intelligent people."
Me: "Wait a minute. This is interesting: You're saying that the majority of people who visit my site don't leave any comments at all, which is true. And by not leaving any comments at all, that signals that they are normal?"
Her: "Exactly. Wouldn't you agree?"
Me: "Yeah, that makes sense. I don't usually leave comments on people's sites. And I'm relatively normal. Do you leave comments?"
Her: "Rarely."
Me: "Wow. Let's take this a step further. If we apply this model to the greater world, it seems to me that the ramifications are staggering."
Her: "Go on."
Me: "Okay, this might sound a little crazy, but, can we conclude, based on this, that maybe, and hear me out on this, but just maybe, most … people, people in the world, are … normal?"
Her: "Wow. I guess we could. My God, I never thought of it that way before. But it actually makes sense."
Me: "Yeah, wow. But if most people in the world are in fact normal, how have I been left with the distinctly opposite impression for most of my life?"
Her: "I dunno. Maybe because the crazy people are the ones with the loudspeakers and they won't shut up."
Me: "I guess. But how did the crazy people get the loudspeakers?"
Her: "Hmm. That doesn't make sense. How could the normal, intelligent people allow the nutcases to dominate the power of communication that way?"
Me: "I dunno. That's pretty sad."
Her: "Yeah, pretty fucking sad."
We both thought about this silently for a moment.
Me: "Well, I guess we could bring it back to the commenting issue pretty easily now by concluding that by allowing all the nutcases and assholes the power to comment freely on my site, I'm only perpetuating the cycle of idiocy and leading more young people to grow up with the embittered illusion that most people are assholes just because the normal people stay quite and cede control."
Her: "That's exactly what I was talking about!"
Me: "Cool. I hereby declare: The normal, decent, intelligent people will reign forevermore on the New York City Anti-Hipster Forum!"
Her: "Yay! Let's get wasted!"
Then we high-fived.

So, you get the idea. And what a relief it is to know that I don't have to hear what anybody has to say about this. Also, I apologize to all the aforementioned intelligent people who leave thoughtful comments, I have enjoyed them immensely. And to all the nutcases, please feel free to start your own Anti-Anti-Hipster Forum and I'll be happy to link to it.

ps - In an effort of good faith and totalitarianism I am going to try and implement a system by which I can screen comments for posting because I like you guys, I really do, and I don't want to ruin the fun of it for all the decent people, you know who you are. Until then you can email me. By the way, 'Fish and Oil' is based on a genuine transcription of a conversation that really did happen. Yes, perhaps the helmet wasn't yellow, and though I don't know any firefighters personally, I've been around them enough to know that a lot of them do, in fact, talk that way. I think it's quite charming, actually.