"In the audience, one could hear the occasional gasp …"

"Indeed, at the current rate of loss, literary reading as a leisure activity will virtually disappear in half a century."

Jesus, you four-eyes twerps are really freaking me out. Take a chill pill or somethin', damn. It's not that bad.

In fact, I was just reading a book yesterday. The Yellow Pages! Aww Sheeit. You wouldn't believe how hard it is to find a fuckin' Dominos Pizza around here. What? That doesn't count as reading?

"This is the visual trend of an activity that is going out of existence."

Oh yeah? You think so, huh? Well, I happen to know of at least one girl who's defying the odds. Totally. She writes all about her life, troubled as it is. And just maybe, if she keeps it up, someday she'll turn out to be a great writer.

Oh wait. She's fucking dead.

If that ain't some bone-chilling symbolism.