Greetings. First, let me apologize for my tardiness in reporting. Suffice to say, my correspondence has been delayed for good reason. My efforts to initiate contact with a significant hipster cell in San Francisco has required the utmost discretion, and due to the technological sophistication of the hipster community here, I fear regular reporting may compromise my attempts at infiltration. I will try to keep you abreast of all developments, but do not fear, for I remain -- more than ever -- dedicated to the success of the project.

By way of updating my progress, as of yet, I'm afraid I can say very little concerning the speciation events that have contributed to the distinct evolution of hipsters in San Francisco, as opposed to the New York City variety, a project into which, I might remind you, I have been completely dedicated for the past five years (has it really been that long?). Before reprimanding me with an unfavorable report, however, I would urge you to keep in mind that I have been enmeshed in my foreign hipster observation for only one month, and as such, my progress has been meager, though I feel I am laying a solid foundation for a very significant advance in the near future, assuming my cover holds.

From what little I have gleaned thus far, the San Francisco hipster stronghold appears to be centered in the Mission District, a sunny, largely Mexican enclave, where, I am happy to report, I have located a small bungalow from which I may quite comfortably live and continue with my work of observation and classification.


Here you see the some of the fruit of my undercover work so far, a contact of mine, a classic hipster of the literary bent, though -- as you may tell from the skeptical look in his eye -- the connection remains tentative at best, and I fear he may be less than forthcoming.

As an aside note, I must say that the natural beauty of the area -- clean air, large park areas, an abundance of cafes and fresh Mexican cuisine -- is highly preferable to the rather dreary environs of my previous post in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, with its crumbling warehouses, hostile native population and L train problems. Of course, without those harsh environmental restraints, I do not believe Williamsburg could have produced such a dizzying and complex array of hipster species -- from the Platinum-Crowned Homestead Hipster to the Sandal-Toed Rilke Tongue -- yes, Williamsburg is rather like a Hipster Galapagos. But I must stop with this ribald sentimentalizing. I am a scientist, after all.

As I have often noted during our bi-weekly Hipster Musicological Research Conferences (HMRC), for which I serve as chairman, the Hipster Ethnological Survey (HES) is essential work, and I firmly believe our efforts will be vindicated, if not during our lifetimes, then sometime.

To allay the committee's thirst for data, the following is a partial list of my future points of research: