I may have matured, lost my acne, moved away from home and stopped hating my parents, but thanks to Weird Al's painful dorkiness, I feel like I'm back in junior high again.

Not only am I actually white and nerdy, I am so white and nerdy that I still have about half of the lyrics from his seminal 1988 album Even Worse committed to memory. Sad but true.

My favorite song was 'Good Old Days,' and for some reason, this is the passage that stuck with me. Ahh, sweet poetry.

'Do you remember sweet Michelle?
She was my high school romance
She was fun to talk to and nice to smell
So I took her to the homecoming dance

Then I tied her to a chair and I shaved off all her hair
And I left her in the desert all alone
Well sometimes in my dreams
I can still hear the screams
Oh I wonder if she ever made it home'

Strange and tragic: I'm so incredibly white and nerdy (I just realized) that I don't even know what rapper 'White and Nerdy' is taking off from.

Stranger and tragic: Weird Al's parents were found dead in their Southern California home in 2004, victims of carbon monoxide poisoning.

This may be Al's greatest parodic achievement since 'Amish Paradise.'